The Big Fat Lie... About Trying Harder!

Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler

You've been searching for self improvement or personal development. To increase your self esteem, achieve personal growth, have more happiness in your life...or perhaps reach an important goal. Maybe you're even working with a personal success coach.

You're on a meaningful quest! But if you're running into problems...it may come from something you were taught as a child!

Do you remember being told: "Just try harder...you'll get it!"

Well...that advice may be the worst possible advice to drill into a child's head. Are you surprised to hear that from a success coach? Then allow me to share a true personal story.

I'm sitting in a screened porch in a peaceful little cabin by the shore of Lake Tahoe reading a book. It's a warm late August afternoon and very quiet... except for an irritating "buzz-thump."

I look up and see a large fly desperately throwing itself at the window at the far end of the porch. The fly has staked its life on a doomed success strategy: Just try harder...try harder...try harder!

Obviously...the fly's goal-seeking behavior is not working! Its efforts hold no hope for success. No matter how hard it throws itself at the glass, it can't escape.

I watch and wonder at the irony of its situation. The little creature has literally staked its life on reaching its goal through determined raw effort! But its very struggle is a trap!

I look over at the open door just a few feet away. A short flight and it would be free. The possibility of a breakthrough was there. It would be so easy. But the fly had made its commitment!

Why doesn't the creature explore its options, I wonder? Why doesn't it try something different? How did it get locked into one doomed course of action? Into just trying the same thing harder and harder.

The next morning I found the fly dead on the dusty window sill.

I was reminded of an earlier period in my own life. I had wanted to create a breakthrough in my own life. Like that fly...I too had tried harder and harder and harder...until I finally gave up in exhaustion.

Here's what I learned (the hard way): Attempting to achieve a goal by trying the same thing harder and harder may be a dead end approach!

First: The very word "try" indicates you actually expect failure (you're going to "try"). If you already know an approach is failing, trying it harder won't get you anywhere! You'll just fail harder!

Second: Failing again and again does NOT take you any closer to success. All it does is dampen your spirit and damage your self-confidence and self-esteem. And who needs that!

"So," you ask, "How else can I achieve my goals?"

The answer may lie in a pulling back and trying a completely different approach!

Think of that fly on the dusty windowsill the next time you find yourself "efforting" to achieve a goal.

"Just try harder" will seldom get you to your goal. It's just a big, fat lie that needs to be replaced with some different goal-directed behaviors!

Think about it for a moment! If you want "something new," You're going to have to "try something new."

Let go...relax...then try another approach! Sometimes just letting go will clear your mind to see a better way of getting what you want.

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Your mind is the ultimate success tool! Creativity, personal power, success -- all start in your brain. YOU alone make the choice about how much of your brain's potential you will develop! Now there's a FAST and EASY way to build "no-limits" mind power. Come check out Dr Jill's revolutionary mind-building ecourse! Check it out!

For more Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler articles and resources, click here.

• Affirmations • Creative Visualization • Goal-Setting • Releasing Blocks
• Emotional Intelligence • Prosperity Laws & Principles • Meditation & Life Purpose • Feng Shui for Wealth

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